


My Petals

by Tendous_Thoughts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Haikyuu - Freeform, Hanahaki Disease, Kenma, Kozume Kenma - Freeform, KuroKen - Freeform, Kuroo - Freeform, Kuroo Tetsurou - Freeform, M/M, Tetsurou Kuroo, haikyuu!! - Freeform, kenma kozume - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29811354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tendous_Thoughts/pseuds/Tendous_Thoughts
Summary: Friends. Friends. FRIENDS. Nothing more nothing less. Yet it still hurt. It hurt when Kuroo started to date Alisa. It hurt when Kuroo told everyone about his secret. It hurt that it was out of his control, but he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't make himself get that surgery he couldn't bring himself too. He didn't want. No. He couldn't stop loving them even if he tried. He only had a few weeks left of this miserable life. Wake up. Change. Eat. Brush his teeth. Go to school. Get made fun of. Go home. Do homework. Repeat.
Relationships: Haiba Alisa/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	My Petals

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Blood, Foul language (cursing), mention of death, mention of weight

##  **Why?**

Kenma opened his locker as notes fell out. He bit his lip as he had been getting hateful notes ever since Kuroo told everyone about him being gay. He slowly got down on his knees as he picked them up. Just then Kuroo came towards him.

“Kenma?” Kuroo mumbled. Kenma turned around quickly holding a handful of the notes. Kuroo’s eyes widened at all the notes.

“What? Are you here to make fun of me?” Kenma Blurted out. Tears falling down from his cheeks.

“No.. I’m sorry Kenma. I just..” Kuroo tried to think of a good reason. But there wasn’t any. There was no reason to break his trust. Break his promise. To break his heart.

Fuck you Kuroo, Why did you have to make me fall for you? Why did you have to break my heart? Why did you have to tell everyone? You promised not to.  _ ~ Kenma thought _

“ **_Why._ ** Why did you have to do this to me? Just fucking leave me alone, you got everything you ever wanted right? A girlfriend. To be popular. To be freed from me,” Kenma whimpered.

Kuroo looked at him blankly. He didn’t know what to say. “Kenma... You know I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“You didn’t mean to have this happen yet it still did and you did nothing to stop it.” Kenma uttered under his breath.

“What did you want me to do?” Kuroo argued.

Kenma looked annoyed as he finally spoke up. “What did I want you to do? Oh I don’t fucking know. Not tell everyone. Not lie to me. To keep somethings fucking private. But you know what it is my fault. I shouldn’t ha- ” He choked putting his hand to his mouth. As bloody flower petals fell out of his mouth. “Shit..” he mumbled as he grabbed the plastic bag out of his backpack full of the bloody flower petals, placing them in the bag.

Kuroo looked at him in horror, “Kenma... Do you hav-?”

“Yes I have hanahaki disease, go ahead and tell everyone I will most likely die soon anyway.” Kenma shut his locker and walked away leaving Kuroo stunned with teary eyes and stunned.

##  **My Everything**

Kuroo ran after kenma as he walked down the street to his house. “KENMA WAIT UP,” he screamed.

Kenma had quit volleyball the day Kuroo had told everyone. He never spoke to anyone anymore. He cried himself to sleep while choking out the flower petals.

“KENMA PLEASE,” Kuroo begged as kenma finally came to a stop as he choked again. He grabbed the bag coughing out the flowers. Then proceed walking Kuroo finally catching up.

“What do you want?” Kenma cried out.

“Kenma please I-I want to make it up to you..” Kuroo looked scared.

“Why? So when I die you feel better?” Kenma looked at him. “ _Look at me I am friends with the gay freak. I made his life so much better._ ” Kenma mocked. “Leave me the hell alone.”

“Kenma no.. I just want to make it up to you. I shouldn’t have done that to you.” Kuroo bit his lip. Noticing Kenma’s sudden decrease in weight, and pale skin.

“ **_Two weeks_ ** .” Kenma whispered tears coming to his eyes.

Kuroo looked at him shocked. “Please..”

“Kuroo, this isn’t the time to try and become buddy buddy with me. I’ll be gone and you will never see me again okay? Get that in your thick skull. It is all- ” kenma stopped himself.

You can’t tell him it is him. You can’t let him know how much pain he has brought you not including telling the whole school. It will crush him. No matter what you do, **_do not tell him_ ** _ ~ Kenma thought. _

“Why won’t you get the surgery?” Kuroo yelled, angry.

Because I don’t want to lose feelings for you. Kuroo I love you so much okay? You never got that. You flirt for no fucking reason. Did you really think I wouldn’t fall for you? Damn it Kuroo  _ ~ Kenma thought _

“Because why would I want to stop loving him?  **_He is my everything_ ** . Why would I want to live in a world where I lose feelings for my everything?” Kenma laughed as if it was a joke. As they arrived at his house he unlocked the door, slowly walking in. “Kuroo thinks about it this way. If you had a crush on Alisa and she had a boyfriend, would you give up your feelings for her so you could live? Or hold on to that chance she will like you’re before your dead? I know he won’t like me. But I rather not live in a world where everyone makes fun of me for liking a guy. By the way make sure when I die nobody shows up, okay?” Kenma shut the door finally crying and coughing the bloody flower petals out. Leaving Kuroo stunned.

##  **Hope?**

Kenma got to school, expecting the notes as he opened the locker but instead there was nothing there. He bit his lip looking around.

Where’s Kuroo? Why the hell is there no notes? _~ Kenma_

There came Kuroo, his eyes red and puffy. He looked like a mess. “Kenma.. please.” Kuroo looked at him. “I don’t want to lose you..”

“What the hell did you do?” Kenma looked at him.

“I stopped it. I stopped the bullying. I shouldn’t have told them. Just stay with me please..” Kuroo cried out.

“Kuroo I am not getting the surgery. So if you are here to tell me to do the surgery.  **_Please just let me die alone_ ** ,” Kenma smiled. “Kuroo listen it is going to hurt but listen to me you will move on soon enough okay? Go and hang out with Alisa okay? Don’t worry about me.” He choked, grabbing the new bag and throwing up the flowers.

“No. I can’t leave you. Not like this. Please Kenma.” Kuroo pleaded.

Kuroo I can’t let you help me. This isn’t the time for that. I already know you don’t like me so stop giving me false hope okay? _~ Kenma thought_

“Kuroo we can hang out, okay? But no talk about surgery, or the disease please. I just wanna die peacefully.” Kenma smiled weakly.

“Okay...” Kuroo smiled weakly.

##  **Tough moments**

“Kuroo, I am going to miss you..” Kemna smiled softly.

“Then don’t go. Do the surgery. That guy doesn’t deserve you.” Kuroo whispered

Kuroo... ** _it is you_**. Why can’t you see that I like you? Well it is not like I want you to know that I like you. I know you too well. You’re going to take it too hard, you’re going to think it is your fault. I can’t do that to you. I love you to much for that _~ Kenma thought_

“Kenma will you ever tell me who it is?” Kuroo bit his lip.

“Why? Do you wanna know?” Kenma chuckled.

“Of course I wanna know. I wanna know who I will never talk to again!” Kuroo said in a serious tone.

Kenma laughed slightly, making Kuroo smile, “Kuroo, you know what I will tell you later. You probably don’t know them. But, You can’t be mad at them okay? You got to make sure they are not too sad for me, okay? You have to make sure they don’t dwell on my life too much. You promise?”

“I can’t promise I won’t smack them. But the rest I guess I can agree on,” Kuroo chuckled while tears fell down his face.

“Kuroo stop crying  **_i’m not dead yet_ ** !” Kenma began to tear up.

Kuroo I’m going to miss you... thank you for everything you have done for me.  _ ~ Kenma thought _

Damnit Kenma. I wish you would do the surgery. Why won’t you do it? Why do you wanna leave me so bad? Do you hate me so much? God I fucked up so bad. I’m sorry I told everyone. I can’t believe you are going to leave me now. Your best friend. I wish I could be mad at you for liking whoever this stupid guy is.  _ ~ Kuroo thought _

“Hey is it Shoyo?” Kuroo blurted out.

“What?” Kemna looked over. “No, I like him as a friend. But me and him wouldn’t work. Well me and my crush wouldn’t work either I guess. Never mind. No I don’t like Shoyo so don’t slap him please.”

Kuroo mumbled something under his breath but kenma couldn’t hear what it was.

##  **Late Night calls**

Kenma woke to the sound of his phone going off, “Kuroo it is- ” He could hear muffled cries from the other side of the line. “Kuroo whats wrong?”

“She broke up with me.” Kuroo cried out.

“I’m sorry. You wanna talk about it?” Kenma mumbled half asleep.

“Sorta but not really. I rather talk in person... can you come over by any chance?” Kuroo pleaded. “I know it is late, but please..?”

Kenma bit his lip slowly getting out of bed. He was already wearing some regular clothes. He put on his socks and went downstairs to put on his shoes. “I’m on my way okay..” Kenma yawned. Softly coughing as bloody petals.

God damnit why would you call him so late at night kuroo. Your so stupid. _ ~ Kuroo thought _

When Kenma knocked on the door ten minutes later Kuroo immetety opened the door. “Sorry..” Kuroo whispered. His tear stained cheeks looked so beautiful with the glow of the street lights. Almost too perfect.

“It’s okay let’s just talk okay? Tell me whatever you want to.” Kenma smiled as Kuroo led his way to his room slowly laying down and gesturing for Kenma to lay next to him.

“She doesn’t like the fact that I’ve been hanging around you so much. She thought I was cheating. I didn’t want to make the same mistake as last time by sharing your secrets so I didn’t tell her about the hanahaki disease... One thing led to another and then she broke up with me.” Kuroo cried.

“You should have told her. This is all my stupid fault. I’m sorry Kuroo. I am sorry I fucked up again.” Kenma whispered.

“What? No it isn’t your fault. Kenma you didn’t do anything wrong,” Kuroo stated, looking at him. The boy was paler then the week before and he was almost all skin and bones.

“Kuroo thank you for always being my best friend.” Kenma teared up again.

“Kenma I am going to miss you so much you were my best friend for so many years.. why do you have to do this to me.” Kuroo hugged him tight.

“Kuroo... they are my everything. I don’t know what I would do without them and I don’t want to. I am sure you will be able to move on fast, don’t worry you will be okay.” Kenma smiled a weak smile.

##  **Goodbye My Love**

God Kuroo it hurts. It’s hard to breathe now. I am going to miss you so much. I sorry I couldn’t make myself take the dumb surgery  _~ Kenma thought_

Kenma slowly wrote as he coughed up flower petal by flower petal. He was in the hospital. Everyone begged him to get the surgery but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The tear rushed down his face as he cried. “God damnit Kuroo..” he choked up.

Kuroo finally got the call rushing over there. Kenma smiled softly as the tears wouldn’t stop pouring. God how he wished his first and last love was there. But he knew by the time he got there he would be gone. Taking his final breath, his lungs filled with the blood petals. Tears streamed down his pale and bone face. Kenma’s eyes finally shut.

**Then Silence.**

Kuroo came five minutes later. He cried loudly as he saw the plae body of his best friend. seeing the note he picked it up and began to read.

_ Dear Kuroo, _

_ I’m going to miss you so much. I am sorry I messed up your life so much from your girlfriend, to being popular. I fucked up bad didn’t I. Do you remember when you learned about this stupid sickness... I lied. You do know him. Please remember what you promised to me. You will not get angry at him. You will make sure he is okay. Lastly you will make sure he moves on and doesn’t dwell too much okay? Kuroo you need to promise me. I wish I was here to hear you say you promise, but I trust you okay? Kuroo I want to ask you one more thing when you learn who this person is can you tell them it is not their fault. Because it is not. Kuroo please promise me... Thank you. Kuroo you were everything to me okay? My best friend, my teammate, my opponent. But Kuroo you were my first love, and my last. I’m sorry that I couldn’t bring myself to do the procedure. But kuroo I couldn’t let myself, not love you. I washed all my petals. Can you please go to my room on my desk is a jar of them. Please dump them in the ocean. _

_ ~ Kenma  _

Kuroo cried loudly as he looked at the lifeless body.

##  **One Year Later**

Kuroo looked down at the pendant and hung from his neck. One side had a photo of kenma on it. The other side was resin filled with several of kenmas petals. “I miss you Kenma...” he whispered as the warm tears fell down.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr account - they get all the stories first!: @tendousthoughts  
> My Wit account - they get the shorter version + it is in text bubble style : @tendou's thoughts  
> My Wappad account - they get the stories second so if you don't have Tumblr this is the second best thing!: @Tendous_Thoughts
> 
> You can message me on any of those accounts or comment on here! If you want a certain fanfic make sure to request it! I do fluff/angst for only haikyuu at the moment! I do ships (other than the twin ship and a few more) and y/n stories!


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